A Little Conrad

The ending to Heart of Darkness seems to fit my day.

‘”To the very end,” I said, shakily. “I heard his very last words…” I stopped in a fright.

‘”Repeat them,” she murmured in a heart-broken tone.
“I want – I want – something – something -to -to live with.”

‘I was on the point of crying at her, “Don’t you hear them?” The dusk was repeating them in in a persistent whisper all around us, in a whisper that seemed to swell menacingly like the first whisper of a rising wind. “The horror! the horror!”

‘”His last word – to live with,” she insisted. “Don’t you understand I loved him – I loved him – I loved him!”

‘I pulled myself together and spoke slowly.
‘”The last word he pronounced was – your name.”

‘I heard a light sigh and then my heart stood still, stopped dead short by an exulting and terrible cry, by the cry of inconceivable triumph and of unspeakable pain. “I knew it – I was sure!” … She knew. She was sure. I heard her weeping; she had hidden her face in her hands. It seemed to me that the house would collapse before I could escape, that the heavens would fall upon my head. But nothing happened. The heavens do not fall for such a trifle. Would they have fallen, I wonder, if I had rendered Kurtz that justice which was his due? Hadn’t he said he wanted only justice? But I couldn’t. I could not tell her. It would have been too dark – too dark altogether.’

Marlow ceased, and sat apart, indistinct and silent, in the pose of a meditating Buddha. Nobody moved for a time. ‘We have lost the first of the ebb,’ said the Director, suddenly. I raised my head. The offing was barred by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed sombre under an overcast sky – seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness.

Hope your day was better.

About mutecypher

Old. Bold. Deal with it.
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