Rats, no Dollhouse tonight.

So I pulled out the Buffy DVDs and watched some season 6. Tabula Rasa, the episode right after Once More With Feeling. Tara leaves Willow. Giles leaves Buffy. Buffy and Spike play tongue hockey while Michelle Branch sings a beautiful mostly acoustic version of Goodbye to You.

It was like that line from a Sheryl Crow’s The Difficult One – “There ain’t nothing like regret to remind you you’re alive.”

Or the couplet from Springsteen’s Hungry Heart

We took what we had and we ripped it apart,
Now here I am down in Kingstown again.

Or the lines from Goodbye To You

It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what’s yours and I want what’s mine,
I want you, but I’m not giving in this time.

An entire season of loss, grief, and no reconciliation. None that I can think of. I don’t know if I can watch the episode where Xander dumps Anya at the alter. Or Willow’s further decent into addiction. Or Buffy’s humiliation at the DoubleMeat Palace.

Crawling, on the planet’s face,
Some insects, called the Human Race.

It’s such a dark place, when you’ve come back from Heaven.